Monday was the scariest day of my life, and I am still struggling with how to process it. I didn’t think I would return to my blog with this post, but I have wanted to return to my weekly reflections for a while now, and I feel like I need to process Monday in the best way I know how – through writing and reflection. Monday, May 2nd (my husband’s birthday) - started out rough, as my girls weren’t feeling well. Rain had a cold (congested and fever) which she had developed on Sunday. Ocean had a barky cough, but no fever. We decided to test them both for COVID. They were both negative. But, to keep everyone safe, we opted to keep them home with Will. Better safe than sorry amid a pandemic. I headed to work – to do what I love!! I had a productive day – meetings and accreditation work. Then, I headed home, and continued working on catching up on some evaluations. Since the kids weren’t feeling good, I opted to work later than I usually do, as they were cuddled up with soup and a movie. By about 7:30, we had decided to keep the kids home on Tuesday and allowed them to sleep in our room on the floor. We had given them both some Tylenol in hopes that it would help with their cough (and for Rain to help with her fever). Will had been teasing Ocean all day that she was pretending to be sick – since she didn’t have a fever. So, as she was lying on the floor, she insisted to me she wasn’t feeling good. I recall telling her, “I know honey. Just lay down and get some rest.” We had given them 30 minutes to watch a show on their tablet. Before 8:00 pm rolled around, I heard a gurgling sound, and discovered Ocean curled up in a ball convulsing. She was unresponsive – breathing, but not able to stop convulsing. She couldn’t hear me – her pillow was soiled. I screamed for her dad – and started calling 911. By the time her dad got upstairs, her body was limp, her eyes had rolled into the back of her head, and she was unable to communicate. When her pupils did return, she was unable to make eye contact. The 911 operator attempted to ask her questions and have her blink a response – there was nothing. She was staring straight through us – with tears streaming down her face. Her body was limp. It was not long after calling 911 that we had several firefighters from Walla Walla and College Place in our bedroom (it seemed like a dozen – but I don’t know for sure). They arrived so fast, and the medics were right behind. They were amazing with her – and with us. They immediately assessed her and started working with us. They noted her symptoms seemed like a seizure, and that she would need transported to the ER for further assessment. She attempted to talk, but it was gurgling and unintelligible. The medics loaded her into the ambulance, and I rode with her to the hospital. It was the longest 10-minute transport of my life. She was crying and scared – but couldn’t talk. She was stable though – with no fever. At the hospital, they did a head CT, a chest x-ray and CT, a COVID test, blood sugar tests, blood work, urine analysis – and I am sure something else. They couldn’t determine what caused the seizure but are convinced she did indeed have a seizure. They are labeling it – an unprovoked seizure. They don’t believe it was a febrile seizure because she didn’t have a fever before or during or after. And, she has no history of seizures. So, they referred her to her primary care physician – and strongly encouraged us (don’t take no for an answer - per the ER Doctor) to get an EEG referral. She continues to have balance issues, and we are unsure as to why. So, we are optimistic that the EEG will tell us more. She has no recollection of what happened, she remembers watching her sister’s tablet and then everything went black until we were rolling her into the ER. Anyhow, why am I sharing this on my professional blog? Because I’m a working mother. I love my job. I love my kids – and this week I struggled with the mortality of my daughter. So much so, that I also ended up massively sick from exhaustion (and the kids’ colds). I’m just now on the mend, after two days of fever and congestion. The doctors have advised us to co-sleep with Ocean until the EEG is complete, and to keep her home from school. Not knowing what caused her seizure has created a lot of anxiety in the Clark household. On top of it, we are all congested (coughing like crazy) and sick. It’s been a rough week – but #ilovemylife – my kids, my husband, my job. And I’m very grateful for the support I have received from all my colleagues, family, and friends. This week, as a working mom, I had to prioritize my mom role (and my health) and take time away from the office. Work life balance – requires you to pivot when something like this happens. Only moments before Ocean’s seizure I shared the quote below on my Facebook and LinkedIn pages. I'm grateful that I know when to pivot, and that I work at a place that allows me the time to unplug for a few days to do so. #gratitudeisattitude #ilovemylife I also want to give a huge shout out to the Walla Walla and College Place Firemen and Medics, as well as the ER staff (including one of WWCC's own Nursing students). Everyone really took amazing care of Ocean. She even got to watch the life-flight helicopter take off from the launch pad -- as they tried to get her excited. These first responders, doctors, and nurses really did make this traumatic experience less terrifying. Work-life balance only happens in dynamic tension. It’s not about giving equal attention; it’s about giving appropriate attention to each of the various domains of your life.” - Michael Hyatt
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AuthorDr. Jess Clark is a trained historian and higher education leader passionate about leveraging technology, including AI, to enhance learning experiences. A lifelong learner and servant leader, she empowers educators in the digital age. Through her blog, she shares expertise on educational leadership, curriculum development, and integrating technology in higher education, inspiring administrators and educators. Dr. Clark's commitment to embracing emerging technologies like AI reflects her belief in technology's transformative power in shaping the future of education. Archives
April 2024
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